And so you fly to Honolulu, and you claim your stuff--if the airline didn't drop it in the ocean--and you go to the hotel, and the first thing you do is put away your stuff. There's lots of places in a hotel to put your stuff. And you've got other stuff in your car. In the glove box. Stuff you might need in a hurry: flashlight, map, sunglasses, automatic weapon. You know. Just in case you wind up barefoot on the highway some night. The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.” – George Carlin

Ok, enough about your stuff. Let's talk about other people's stuff. Have you ever noticed when you visit someone else's house, you never quite feel at home? You know why? No room for your stuff! Somebody else's stuff is all over the place. And what crummy stuff it is! 'God! Where did they get this stuff?' Note to myself: Never again read a collection of George Carlin's musing on the trolley, when commuting to work! The trolley was quite crowded, only one available seat which I took, my co-passengers cramped and then I started exploding with laughter. I did everything to contain myself: to no avail! Poor people around me were stiff with fear of this giggling maniac in their midst. Human beings are kind of interesting from birth until they reach the age of a year and a half. Then they are boring until they reach fifty. By that time they're either completely defeated and f***ed up, which makes them interesting again, or they've learned how to beat the game, and that makes them interesting too. George Carlin quotes are hilarious. Carlin was a New York City-based stand-up comedian, social critic, writer, and actor, best known for his unconventional and vulgar comedy routines. He talked about things that could be considered controversial, like politics and politicians, religion, drugs, and the demise of humanity. He has written many books full of brutally honest sayings and jokes, like Brain Droppings , When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops? , Last Words , and more. Carlin was known for keeping things real, and his funny jokes were sure to get a laugh out of anyone.And you know how sometimes when you're visiting someone, you unexpectedly have to stay overnight? It gets real late, and you decide to stay over? So they put you in a bedroom they don't use too often . . . because Grandma died in it eleven years ago! And they haven't moved any of her stuff? Not even the vaporizer?

He mentions being happy the Yankees annihilated the Braves in the World Series in the book, but mentions it happened twice in the audiobook, as the two teams played again in 1999. In a non-chronological change, in his "Baseball and Football" segment, he adds the weird fact that baseball is the only one of the four major American sports that is sensibly unwatchable in a mirror. (Though this was touched on in one of his "Short Takes" sections.) I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer’s disease where they slowly began to recover other people’s lost memories.” – George CarlinBrain droppings" manages to deliver an impressive collection of Carlin's bits. His comedic voice of reason is unparalleled and filled with irreverent humour and sarcasm. George Carlin was easily one of the greatest comedians of all time, the best in my opinion. Apart from Richard Pryor, I can't even think of anyone who comes close to his talent, relevance and longevity. Yeah, George was funny but it was his honesty and intelligence that made him special. No one was better at following up a fart joke with a stabbing insight about how twisted our perceptions of reality are. He skewered our empty icons. He revealed the evil within those who abuse their power at the public's expense. He also rightly condemned all of us for putting up with so much ignorance and insanity.

Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ’til the end of time! But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can’t handle money!” – George Carlin Carlin's mid-2000s stand-up routines focused on the flaws in modern-day America. He often took on contemporary political issues in the United States and satirized the excesses of American culture. The book might have worked ages ago in the non internet era. Maybe we have become immune to wit and demand more. Maybe, there doesnt exist a humour book within a standup comedian. But this book was just ok. We’re so self-important. Everybody’s going to save something now. “Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails.” And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. Save the planet; we don’t even know how to take care of ourselves yet. I’m tired of this shit.” – George Carlin In May 2000, the book was published as an audiobook by HighBridge, [1] in both CD and cassette tape formats. The audiobook received a Grammy award, Carlin's third, in February 2001.The book has 3 types of themes - one based on language and word play which is joke book material. The other is a rant on state of affairs/human ineptitude - which without modulation sounds like a rant.The third is scenario based imagination - which draws the laughs. There is one chapter on how early men started a ritual of human sacrifice which was ingenious.