YA Buddy Readers'...: A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking by T. Kingfisher -- Starting July 12th 2023 Nefarious Last Words (NLW™): not all YA stories are created equal. Most Some are crappy as fish, while a few others are bloody shrimping NOT. And that, my Little Barnacles, is a scientifically proven fact. Book Genre: Childrens, Fantasy, Fiction, Humor, Magic, Middle Grade, Mystery, Science Fiction Fantasy, Young Adult, Young Adult Fantasy See what I mean? Such utter disrespect for my brave little ferocious warriors is quite unacceptable, if you ask me. Where the fish is PETA when you need them, anyway? Why would a grouchy old fuffertut like me buy a (Kindlesale, to be fair) copy of a library book he's already read? Because he plans to re-read it. Yep...I want to have it so that I won't need to fuss my drawers procuring it when I am most in need of a laughing, weeping, cheering-my-fool-lungs-out read that doesn't have the effrontery to wink at me or let me know it's clever-clever. Story gets told, ideas get presented, world gets saved, and just keep the sourdough starter firmly in place or it'll get weird ideas.

The story is told through Mona's perspective, where she injects wit and humor into everything. But I also loved how she realized and discussed with herself that this should have been completely handled by the adults. It should never have come down to a kid like her having to be the one to make people aware of the dangers against the magicas or be forced to save the day. The adults should have been, well...the adults should have been the adults. They should have realized what was going on and put a stop to it. If this sounds like the plot of every other YA fantasy novel, it isn’t. Firstly, the way Mona uses her supposedly small gift to protect herself and her allies is both unique and unnerving; the author’s experience writing horror stories really shows through, as does her attention to detail. Anyone who owns a sourdough starter knows how uncanny it can be to hear this faceless living mass bubbling in a jar. Now imagine if it could ooze around on its own, and eat other things the way it eats flour and water, like your enemy’s face, for example. This creature exists in the novel as Mona’s familiar. She calls it Bob. Magic, gingerbread, warm laughter and feels…this actually turned out to be a perfect holiday read! The protagonist of A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking is Mona, a fourteen-year-old baker’s assistant with a minor gift that only works on bread dough. It’s a humble but comfortable existence working at her Aunt Tabitha’s bakery, and Mona is happy enough just to be able to help out. There were two problems here, both of which will vary tremendously depending on the reader. One, the lead is a very timid sort. While she does grow into her magic, I would hesitate to say she grows significantly into her personhood power. While that is entirely alright, the mileage one gets out of this may vary. She's a young, rule-follower, trusting sort of young person, and that's fine. Her emotional breakdowns are in line with this persona, as are her worries. And I kind of applaud Kingfisher for trying to tell a story about someone who doesn't want to be a hero, and who doesn't get powered-up and stomp all over the story. But. But not my favorite kind of lead character. I might have liked her better if I was ten.You expect heroes to survive terrible things. If you give them a medal, then you don’t ever have to ask why the terrible thing happened in the first place. Or try to fix it. Young Mona has a way with bread. She can keep it from burning, or make it taste fresher (or staler, if need be.) She can even make gingerbread men dance the can-can. 'Cause she's a wizard, you see. A 14-year-old wizard who's about to have her life turned upside-down. That said, there's plenty to enjoy here. The baking is probably the most fun. Bob the sourdough starter is hilarious and steals every scene (and that ranks right up there with things I never thought I'd say about a book, along with spiders are cool). I kept waiting for the little gingerbread man to run down the road shouting, "you can't catch me," but that could be because I just read The Big Over Easy.

It all starts when Mona discovers a dead body in their bakery. Mona is a wizard that works with bread. Yep, bread. That's it - just bread. And although this is considered minor magic, she still gets accused of the murder solely because she is a wizard. It doesn't take long before she learns there is a growing threat that magicas like her are facing in the city-state and while most magical individuals leave (or are killed), Mona soon finds herself in the unenviable position of having to stand-up and fight against the enemy. Oh, and, for the record, I don't actually hate YA as a whole that much. (Okay, it may say so on my profile but it just a cunning scheme to deceive my enemies and stuff.) What I do hate quite very much indeed—and with a murderous vengeance—is crap stuff like this, crap stuff like this and crap stuff like this. You’re welcome. Let’s see, what else? The story is abominably fluffy at times, but it is quite marvellously darkly dark for the most part. And what do we say to that? Why, YUM, of course. The villains are magnificently villainous, too. So YUM again. Talking about appetizing stuff, second-hand breakfasts are regularly on the menu in this book. (And no, you don’t want to know that they’re made of.) There are also super savory and most delectable garderobe expeditions. (No, you don’t want to know about these either.) That’s it for the appetite-stimulating side of this story, I think. Unless you consider people who “ look like the ass end of a seagull” as being particularly mouthwatering, that is. A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking is written more for young adults/middle age but I still enjoyed this one. Mona is a very reluctant hero, wanting “to make really good sourdough and muffins and not get messed up with assassins and politics” — and she would much rather not have to do anything heroic because really, that’s something required of adults. Kids should not be saving the world and fixing mistakes of careless adults, and yet sometimes life does not care what you think, and adults make stupid choices and let you down — even if you are young and careful and try your best to be sensible and follow the rules. Sometimes you have to rise up to a challenge when those in charge have failed in their responsibilities, and hope that you are not alone.So needless to say, A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking was full of the wonder and whimsy I was expecting. I also loved, loved, LOVED the focus around magic and baking. I mean, deep down, who wouldn’t want the power to create and animate their own gingerbread man army? And of course, Mona is the perfect heroine to lead the way. In many respects, this was a tale of growing up and self-discovery—granted, not uncommon themes when it comes to books for this age group. But one day, her world is turned upside down when she comes in to find a dead body on the floor. Worse, she becomes the main suspect in the murder case. Of course, it doesn’t help that the city’s authorities aren’t exactly friendly towards wizards, even those who aren’t considered very powerful. This has emboldened a certain assassin, who is stalking the streets preying on magic users. Soon every wizard is fleeing the city, including poor Mona who has been caught up in the chaos. You’re making their lives better, just a little tiny bit. It is nearly impossible to be sad when eating a blueberry muffin. I’m pretty sure that’s a scientific fact." I fully admit that I bought this one for the title. Not that the stabbity-stabbity gingerbread man on the cover isn’t adorable, but it was definitely the title that got me. And I’m so very glad that it did. I also wondered whether this was really YA or whether it was one of those cases where something got called YA because it was fantasy. That doesn’t happen as much as it used to, but it definitely does still happen.

Someone is killing magic folk, and suddenly it's up to Mona to figure out who's doing it, AND why . . .before she turns out to be the next victim. She just needs to keep in mind that in magic, creativity is as important as knowledge. Extremely sweet. I'd likely have been more impressed if I hadn't read Minor Mage first, but if you liked that, this is a similar concept and I think often funnier. Mona’s understanding that the adults who should have figured this out were collectively asleep at the switch and that saving the city shouldn't be up to her but is anyway is something that Harry Potter fanfiction handles better than the original stories. The situation shouldn’t have been allowed to get so far off the rails that a 14-year-old is not just their best but their only hope. After all, when Leia talks about Obi-Wan being her “only hope” at least her expectations are fixed on a grown up. The great wizards, the magi that serve the Duchess, they can throw fireballs around or rip mountains out of the earth, heal the dying, turn lead into gold. Me, I can turn flour and yeast into tasty bread, on a good day. And occasionally make carnivorous sourdough starters.”P.P.S. I really appreciated the author's thoughts on heroes. That gave me something to think about. Kind of supplemental to Mr. Roger's advice to look for the helpers maybe? But I did love that at fourteen, Mona is still basically a kid, with young (and snarky) voice and zero contamination with romance that seems to plague so many books aimed at the youngsters. We have our kids grow up too fast in stories, and although Mona does a fair bit of this given the responsibilities thrust upon her, I love that in the end she’s still a kid at heart. Thirdly, as a female protagonist, Mona avoids several other clichés besides that of the badass action hero. There is no romance, for one thing, since her closest male ally is a boy from the streets who becomes a surrogate younger brother. She has a healthy attitude toward her own body, meaning she can appreciate her strong arms and enjoy her pastries without worrying about how she looks. There are no instances of putting other women down to make the heroine look better. Mona has a loving and respectful relationship with the aunt who taught her to bake, and later in the novel, a female ruler is portrayed as flawed but still competent. I don’t even care about pastries, but think I may sell my soul for a freshly baked sweet bun right now.

I make it no secret, I’m a big fan of T. Kingfisher, another name for Ursula Vernon. It’s true that I’ve been more familiar with her adult horror thus far, but it appears I’m gradually developing a taste for her Young Adult/Middle Grade fantasy as well. There’s something about her style that reminds me very much of the work of Francis Hardinge, another children’s author I regard highly for her imaginative world-building, lovable protagonists, and yes, stories with maybe just a hint of darkness. In this case, fourteen-year-old Mona’s magic only works on bread or pastries. There are other wizards in the city of Riverbraid but they are similar to Mona with specific abilities or not that powerful at all. Suffice to say that it was utterly charming, perfectly plotted, and ageless -- I think anyone from 9 through adulthood could enjoy this. I’ve seen other reviewers complain that Mona is too passive and quiet, but I found her to be very resourceful, and I greatly enjoyed her voice and outlook.

For me, this was 4.5 stars, almost 5, and I can very much recommend it, especially as a winter holiday read: there's lots of yummy baking going on and despite of its dark themes, it always manages to maintain a warm and lighthearted tone. One of the biggest charms of Kingfisher’s writing is the combination of the fantastical with the everyday, often in ways you completely don’t expect. Having a magical talent that only works with baked goods has got to be one of the best ways to highlight this skill, because you don’t get much more everyday than the act of mixing flour and waiting for bread to rise.