Shanghiist shared the same discomfort and agreed that it was often very difficult to tell who was the child and who was the mother.

Although our different cultures have rarely been much of an issue between us, it has been very interesting seeing the cultural differences, particularly with his parents, when we had children.

Because I was finally having an honest conversation about motherhood—sharing traumatic birth stories, empathizing about the challenges of breastfeeding. I was grateful that I didn’t have to be alone with the baby, that I didn’t have to cook for myself, that she was always willing to rock the baby to sleep when I was too tired to do so anymore. However, despite some cultural barriers in getting support from my mother, my primary hurdle in getting help had little to do with my cultural background but more with poor education. To see her daughter again, she must pass motherhood tests with a robot daughter who is transmitting data about her parenting—how long she maintains eye contact, the length of her hug, the spark in her stories.

Some of the restrictions for the first month, such as not leaving the house, might aggravate postpartum depression. I had a “mix” confinement, in that my mother moved out the day the baby came home (my parents previously lived with me 5yr prior).To anyone watching, the message was clear: Asian American motherhood was a trend that could pass, not an identity to be represented. Too bad your mom didn't feel comfortable sharing her PPD struggles with you so that you could be better prepared.

Even though this was not my cultural norm, there were things about confinement that were definitely helpful, especially having someone else look after all the meals and cleaning! There is also definitely a stigma in the Asian culture against mental illness, often rooted in superstition (eg: a person suffering from mental illness has “bad luck”). On the other hand, having live-in help definitely alleviated some of my anxiety because I had someone to talk to. It was not until I came across Postpartum Progress that I was able to “diagnose” myself with postpartum depression because I learned about intrusive thoughts and postpartum anxiety. Although the loves sex, that part of her life has been put on hold preferring the nurturing of her college age son, Kenji, over the dating game.In the Chinese culture, it is common for the new mother’s mother-in-law or own mother to live with her for a month after giving birth to help with the baby and to cook for her. Giving birth makes the body “cold,” so in the first postpartum month, new mothers are not supposed to drink cold water, go outside, or shower, all of which can make your body “cold. Today we’re so happy to welcome Cat, a Chinese-American Warrior Mom, who blogs at Postpartum Thoughts. Also, I completely know what you mean about the Asian culture being open to "alternative medicines" but skeptical about modern medicine.