When I asked my son to rate himself using a ruler as the book suggests, his response was exactly how the author said it would happen. And if you fall into what I perceive to be a very narrow strip of the population, you will probably find this a very helpful book. They are struggling silently, in a world that is too competitive, surrounded by a perfectionistic culture, and because their brains develop later and differently from girls’ brains (and the school system is biased towards a learning style that suits girls more than boys in general- encouraged by sitting in rows, teacher led learning), the boys feel overwhelmed. Why do they spend endless hours playing video games or glued to their phones and social media sites instead of studying?

If this is your son, then this is the book to help you step back, figure out what’s going on, and get yourself off the treadmill that is sustaining his behaviour.As school starts up again it’s important to mention the key study skills which will put your child in the best position to succeed this academic year. There are many brilliant books out there, but this one stands out for meI REALLY worry about the impact the rising levels of perfectionism in young people is having on their mental health. You will probably like the plan I come up with a lot less than one you come up with, so give it some thought.

It’s a confusing and challenging world out there, and our adolescents need our help to learn to navigate it. I’m not sure He’s Not Lazy provides the easy-to-follow route map that most parents of must-try-harder boys long for, but it definitely helped me understand my son better. No magic pill , real advice for parents who want to WORK to change their relationship with their child and truly help him. The demands on a teenager today are more intense than when we were teenagers, mostly in the academic sense. This book is for a C student who's 100% into the consumer culture and expectations of American maleness.

While he can't claim to know your experience and your child, he is pretty bang on with his analogy of the teen boy.

This perceived laziness is if you like the other end of the spectrum reaction of the hypercompetitive society we live in, with Perfectionism at one end and ‘Opting Out’ at the other. You can change your choices at any time by visiting Cookie preferences, as described in the Cookie notice. It offered some solid advice and some that I thought to be a bit unrealistic, although it may be realistic for other kids (like writing their feelings in a journal… a great idea but I’m not sure it applies to the kids he’s talking about). He’s NOT trying hard, not seemingly concerned about grades or school, in fact they might describe him as ‘barely motivated’, or even ‘lazy’. Every now and then a book comes along that stops you in your tracks, with multiple light bulb moments, and a really important message.

Having had this conversation with parents several times I became intrigued, and so wanted to delve a little deeper into this concept of ‘laziness’.