Ebony and Ivory: Interracial FFM Fun by the Pool

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The performance of oral sex is an awakening of the senses. It creates a bodily connection between two people, as taste buds and corporeal pleasure intersect through an act of selflessness. While giving doesn’t always lead to personal arousal, it should inspire the mental stimulation of knowing you’re guiding your partner to orgasm(s). If done right, it can serve as a powerful precursor for sexual intercourse and set the mood for a reciprocal exchange of bliss. But with all the sex-negativity plaguing society-at-large, many partners are too ashamed of giving head to actually enjoy it or too self-conscious to openly admit that they take pleasure in performing oral sex. It’s far easier to feed the ego and brag about receiving it than to discuss the joy in giving something that’s purely for your partner’s delight. I don’t know what color my husband will be, or what culture he’ll be from, but I will say this. It’s amazing what I’ve learned in life when I’m open to more than one possibility. I’m no longer limiting my options in love or sex. Before the threesome starts, you want to negotiate what’s going to happen when the threesome ends, says queer sex educator Marla Renee Stewart, MA, sexpert for Lovers, an adult wellness brand and retailer. Janice Rhoshalle Littlejohn, co-author of the soon-to-be released Swirling: How to Date, Mate, and Relate Mixing Race, Culture, and Creed,put it best in the chapter called, “Let’s Talk About Sex … and Stereotypes”:

Porn may have led you to believe that threesomes are all about penetration and double penetration. So let the record show that a threesome doesn’t need to include penetration to qualify as a threesome. Spooning sex position is great for threesome partners who want to keep things intimate,” Moore says. “It allows for shallow penetration and frees both hands to explore each other. It can also be a breather from all the threesome acrobatics you just did or will be doing.”

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Perhaps if we reframed the performance oral sex as normal, exciting, and a positive aspect of human sexuality, more people would be comfortable enough to enjoy it and discuss it in public. Public discourse aids sexual health education and decreases the overall shame that’s come to prevent ordinary human beings from embracing their sexual selves. If we’re ever to rid the indignity that comes with openly admitting to enjoying the performance of oral sex, we have to create safe, open spaces for people to be at ease, talk, and express themselves without fear. Eventually, our vacation ended and he headed to the south of Brasil to start his new job. I returned to the city to continue living my life, and we kept in touch through semi-frequent Skype chats about our lives as Americans in Brazil. He told me to hit him up when I came to his city. And when I finally made the trip, I did. It had been almost six months since we had first met, and I certainly had changed.

Pro tip: “Make sure that both penis owners aren’t thrusting at the same time. If this happens, one of them could easily slip out,” Moore says. “Another tip is to have the person with the shorter penis penetrate the woman first (usually vaginally) and then the one with the bigger penis second (usually anally). Doing so ensures fewer chances of slipping out.”There are even people there exclusively to find threesome partners. That includes couples looking for a third, bulls looking for hotwives, and everything in between. It can feature vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse, both the types of intercourse simultaneously, or a mix. And so much more! What toys you use will depend on personal preferences, and what everyone is comfortable doing and to whom,” says Deysach. I entered the experience with one goal in mind: I wanted to completely let loose and allow myself to fully indulge in my sexual side, acting on every impulse and voicing every desire. How to do it: All partners get into the spooning position by lying on their sides. Then, the two partners penetrate the person right in front of them, either vaginally or anally. Now, start with slow, rhythmic thrusts.