Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself

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Assertiveness is a little known yet life-changing communication skill and empowerment tool that helps people speak up for themselves and speak their minds unapologetically in a respectful and anxious-free way. Some people prefer worksheets with lots of exercises while others learn better from reading examples and stories. Consider what is more helpful for you and seek out an assertiveness workbook that provides that kind of tool. You know how you learn best, so choose resources that support your learning style. In this controversial book, world-renowned confidence expert and clinical psychologist, Dr. Aziz Gazipura, takes an incisive look at the concept of nice. Before you continue, we thought you might like to watch ourFREE assertiveness training: How To Be Assertive Without Being Rude here. This training, taken by thousands of people, will give you the starting skills to be more assertive and communicate with more confidence.

Assertiveness is the act of behaving confidently and boldly without aggression. Assertive people are able to stand up for themselves and their needs, set boundaries and communicate exactly what they want. If you find it hard to be assertive, directly ask for what you want, or say “no” to others, then you just might be suffering from too much niceness. The core mindset of assertiveness is: My needs matter and so do yours. Let’s have a clear discussion about what we both want to see, what might work best for us both. Sometimes I will choose what serves me, even if it upsets you. And sometimes you will do something for yourself, even if I don’t like it.However, it served as a good reminder to review some things again with great points, but honestly, I stopped about 3/4 of the way through because I was just ready to be done with it.

All those hangouts we did not want to attend and the amount of things we say yes to but secretly feel resentful about are mere signs that we are NOT GENUINE with our true needs and wants. If you feel guilty saying no in most of your relationships, then this book is for you. Bonus Mention Assertiveness Book: Not Nice:Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty… And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself Assertiveness is a skill you can use in many different situations. For example, if a co-worker asks you to take on their work for a project when you already have too much on your plate, you can set boundaries calmly and explain why you can’t do their job for them. Similarly, if a neighbor wants you to shovel their driveway every time you shovel your own, you can maneuver the situation in a confident yet friendly manner. If so, assertiveness can help you earn respect from other people, get them to hear you, appreciate you, and take you seriously. You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be someone who hates peaches.” - Dita Von TeeseAll in all we are definitely being manipulated on daily basis under the magical spell of BE NICE and NOT NICE book is a legitimate way to break the spell I never thought I could be capable of being so assertive, confident, and in control. I used to come across obviously assertive people and be jealous, even resentful toward them because I wished I could be like them. I wished I could have their confidence. There is one insight that the book indirectly reveals: why we become defensive when other people engage us in difficult conversations and how to handle it. I would have given this 3 stars and a more nuanced review but then I got to the part where he approaches a woman on her cell phone to ask her what she’s talking about. He did this as a dare/exercise in experiencing awkwardness. Honey, no. There are so many layers of why a man shouldn’t do this and it’s hard to imagine he’s not aware of them. Instead, his actions stated that his self-improvement was more important than her sense of safety. Context exists. You can choose to ignore it but that doesn’t make you bold and authentic; it makes you a bit of a jerk. This is an incredible book to empower and build confidence in women in both professional and personal life. The book shares several actionable tips, example dialogues, and exercises on how to be assertive.