True Secrets of Lesbian Desire: Keeping Sex Alive in Long-Term Relationships

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Carvalho J, Štulhofer A, Vieira AL, Jurin T. Hypersexuality and high sexual desire: exploring the structure of problematic sexuality. J Sex Med. 2015;12(6):1356–67. https://doi.org/10.1111/jsm.12865. The final element recurring through these women’s writing is evidence of linguistic epistemological indeterminacy. The seventeenth century was an age when women were primarily seen as existing only in relation to men. Therefore, for women to write about their desires, let alone their desires for other women, meant negotiating a space within the parameters of acceptability. For the women writers examined here this negotiation involved coding their language, for example within images of nature, or simply using ellipses to imply what could not be said. Cacioppo M, Vizzari V, Corica F, Maestri V, Simonelli C. An exploratory study on male homosexual erotic imagery. Sexologies. 2009;18(1):44–50. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.sexol.2007.12.007.

Adam PC, Murphy DA, de Wit JB. When do online sexual fantasies become reality? The contribution of erotic chatting via the internet to sexual risk-taking in gay and other men who have sex with men. Health Educ Res. 2011;26(3):506–15. https://doi.org/10.1093/her/cyq085. Parsons JT, Starks TJ, DuBois S, Grov C, Golub SA. Alternatives to monogamy among gay male couples in a community sample: implications for mental health and sexual health. Arch Sex Behav. 2013;42:303–12. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-011-9885-3. Remember, it's also really vital that you keep your sex toys clean, too. After using them, either wash them with warm water and fragrance-free soap or with a sex toy cleaner. This reduce the risk of bacteria spreading and the risk of transmitting STIs. Lube Lemke R, Weber M. That man behind the curtain: investigating the sexual online dating behavior of men who have sex with men but hide their same-sex sexual attraction in offline surroundings. J Homosex. 2017;64(11):1561–82. https://doi.org/10.1080/00918369.2016.1249735.Boysen GA, Vogel DL, Madon S, Wester SR. Mental health stereotypes about gay men. Sex Roles. 2006;54:69–82. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-006-8870-0.

Lacefield K, Negy C. Non-erotic cognitive distractions during sexual activity in sexual minority and heterosexual young adults. Arch Sex Behav. 2012;41(2):391–400. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-011-9792-7.In the office, nothing changed. Both of us swore not to tell anyone else. I dodged questions from friends about my relationship status like bullets - the lies were worth it for the delirium I felt when I was with her. While the lovers in On a Juniper-Tree appear to find mutual enjoyment in their pastoral paradise, Behn does suggest that Cloris hasn’t give her full consent to their lovemaking: ‘Nor would the shepherd be deny’d/Impatient he waits no consent’[222] and she refers to being ‘conquered’ by the shepherd: ‘Yeilds to the Conqueror all her Charmes.’[223] Moreover, Cloris has to subdue her shame ‘With love and Shame her Soul Subdu’d.’[224] Similarly in the poem The Willing Mistr Matthews AK, Tartaro J, Hughes TL. A comparative study of lesbian and heterosexual women in committed relationships. J Lesbian Stud. 2002;7(1):101–14. https://doi.org/10.1300/J155v07n01_07. Peixoto MM, Nobre P. Prevalence of sexual problems and associated distress among lesbian and heterosexual women. J Sex Marital Ther. 2015;41(4):427–39. https://doi.org/10.1080/0092623X.2014.918066.