BDSM Submissive Punishments: Guide To Punishing Your Sub Like A Pro BDSM Dom (Includes Submissive Training)

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For example, if part of the rationale behind punishment is to atone and put an end to the issue, sooner is better than later. But if you’re going for deterrence, maybe giving your sub a week or two to contemplate the impending consequences is a good idea. Spanking- My favorite I love to hate. Usually done on the bed without clothes on. Using the Dom’s bare hand has the advantage of keeping the physical connection between both parties. It also prevents them from doing serious damage because they will have the pain in their hand as a gauge. I have seen plenty of newbie doms fall into a variety of traps around the funishment punishment distinction.

And when I say comprehensive, oh boy, do I mean it. This guide to punishments for subs is based on my years of experience, reading, research and community discussions, as well as a lot of trial and error in my 24/7 TPE dynamic. It covers everything you need to know to design and implement effective submissive punishment within a D/s dynamic. These lists are by no means exhaustive, but it should give you an idea of the kind of thing to avoid. A YouGov survey, conducted in Britain, the United States and Germany, found that only 10% of men preferred to be submissive in bed, with nearly twice the number of men wanting to be the dominant sexual partner. Effective punishment relies on understanding the thoughts and feelings which led to the misbehaviour in the first place. So, consider how you’re going to deal with underlying emotions when designing your punishment protocol.Why bother with protocol? Well, protocol is about creating easy, sustainable ways of connecting with your dynamic. Protocol just means putting the effort in up front to create an easy, thought-out way of doing something, which helps both of you connect with the right headspace, so that you don’t need to find the capacity to do that amidst the chaos of everyday life. How to set rules for subs Submissives have to work on themselves first,’ she explains. ‘A lot of subs fall into the trap of wanting a dominant to basically just fix all their problems. Research first: before trying out any kink, do plenty of research to make sure it’s really for you – especially for kinks sitting at the more extreme end of the scale. The Alternative Sexualities Health Research Alliance is a good place to start. Before you get into BDSM, you need to work out what you really want from submission. If you have a sign saying you’re here for the taking, people will take advantage of it.’

The term fetish is often used interchangeably with kink to refer to any sexual activity that falls outside the mainstream appetite. But fetish is actually a subset of kinky sex, and technically refers to the fixation of an inanimate object that’s not typically sexual such as body parts - notably feet! Withholding orgasm- The submissive will not be allowed to have an orgasm for a certain period of time.Bear in mind, these conversations don’t have to be ‘serious’. You can integrate them into space. There’s no reason you can’t tie your sub up and have a chat during, or even integrate it into something more complex. As long as both parties feel comfortable expressing themselves fully, there’s no one right way.

Gifts- Gifts do not have to be extravagant. They can be small. For example, maybe the submissive likes chocolate, coffee mugs, or makeup. You can get her one of these items and present it to her when she does as you ask or complies with a rule that has been difficult for her to follow in the past. My sub and I use what we call ‘disclaimers’ – a few sentences to let the other person know the situation and to pre-empt misunderstanding. This is very useful in a variety of situations, but particularly where we are talking about something we are just coming to explore. As I grew older, I came to terms with conventional ideas of male and female roles. I became a full-on feminist. It’s like I did a 180, which ended up being a 360. While there are lots of comprehensive lists out there, I would strongly recommend you put your phone away and start with your partner instead. (Just…errr you know, not right this second. Finish reading this first, obviously.) The long answer is: If a Dom does not have the power to enforce behavior, and there aren’t any expectations for the sub to live up to, then it’s not really D/s. I don’t like being physically punished, I’ll admit that right up front. In fact, there are times it has really pissed me off. In the past, there have been moments when it just made me feel like I was being treated like a child, which, in turn, made me feel resentful and angry. But, punishment is not intended to make the Dominant feel good. They may get a thrill out of spanking your ass for fun, but correcting you through punishment or consequence is a responsibility…with the intention of shaping your behavior and improving you.

So around one third of my inbox just took the p**s, and another third of guys were just gross, saying things like: “Hey babycakes.” Every time a rule is broken, it should be crystal clear what the consequence was. Ensure both of you understand which rules can result in which specific punishments. But when it comes to online resources, most of what you find when you search for ‘punishments for subs’ or ‘punishment sub’ or the usual truncated Google nonsense are listicles of sexytime funishment ideas. Which is not particularly helpful if you’re after advice on how to implement ‘real’ punishments as part of a power exchange dynamic. These two points are stressed a lot in the kink community for good reason. But if you’re past the kink 101 stage, they can get a bit tiring to read about. So, if you’re experienced or really, if you’ve been around the kink community for more than five minutes