Before & Laughter: The funniest man in the UK’s genuinely useful guide to life

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Speaking about writing comedy in 2021, Jimmy went on to say: ‘When you’re doing a try out show, when you’re testing things out for the first time, you’re a little bit nervous. Rather disarmingly, he stresses repeatedly throughout his book that anyone could have done this, and that he had no supernatural talent for comedy. “Or any talent at all,” he says. “I’d never written a joke before I was 25. And now I’m good at writing jokes. It’s a learnable skill. And I learned that skill.” Already anticipating his next tour, he has challenged himself to modify his short-form, gag-heavy form of stand-up. Drawing from specific moments and incidents in his own life, he shows how he managed to make it work for him. But with jokes throughout, he promises "self-analysis through the power of laughter at its most rewarding." Pledging to reveal how Carr has managed to "thrive as a comedian but also as a human being", the stand-up's first book for 14 years focuses on his pursuit of happiness, how he obsessed about and researched the subject when he decided to make huge changes in his life.

He trails off and reconsiders what he’s just said. “No, I think I probably was a little bit stressed about it, a bit down about it,” he decides. “But it was probably a good thing because if things had been a bit better in my early 20s, I might not have quit my job for comedy.” Before I have time to ask the Covid-era question “Are we doing handshakes?”, Jimmy Carr has thrust out his arm and grasped my hand. Then, suddenly, he lets go and screams: “Oh God, no! My hand’s covered in Covid!”Well, there had been pictures of me pushing a pram in the pictures,” he says. “What did people think was in that? Old CDs?”

As a result he spent his first 12 years of comedy success avoiding alcohol completely. “Which was much better. You have better conversations. The only thing about being sober around comedians is that, around 2am, you might as well f**k off home. You’re just going to be told the same anecdote again.”I wonder if all this talk of wubbwubb has softened his act. “No. I’ve been writing new stuff and it’s brutal. My sense of humour doesn’t change.” He says the uproar was far worse than anything he has faced over offensive jokes. Even the prime minister at the time, David Cameron, got involved. “I’m not an expert on tax accounting, but I think if the prime minister of the country where you live has broken off from the G20 in Mexico to talk about your personal tax affairs and called you out and named you, that might be a problem.” It’s no use me getting a sharp intake of breath onstage. That’s nothing. It’s no good offending people. I’m there to make them laugh. If it doesn’t make them laugh first, it’s gone. And for me it was The Comedy Store. It was 'I'm getting paid that much money, I'm literally living off my wits. This is a life now, I can sustain it. It's not a hobby. This is my job'. That was the big transition.

He laughs. “Is this making me sound like an incel elder? I did have opportunities, but I was bad at reading the signs, and I would friend-zone people. A lot of girls I was very, very close to growing up, we had incredibly intimate relationships, but we didn’t have a physical relationship, and it was lovely…” Jimmy Carr has slammed cancel culture in a new documentary, calling it the modern equivalent of book burning. Carr opens up admirably in the book about his mental health, his problem drinking and the grief he experienced when his mother died in 2001, just as his comedy career was beginning. “I found the book incredibly cathartic to write,” he says. “Especially about my mother. There’s that lovely phrase, that you die twice – once when you die, and again the last time someone says your name. So I loved that thing of being able to talk about my mum.”Perhaps this unusual devotion to his mum (“I suppose a therapist would tell you I was ‘enmeshed’”) is why he found himself still a virgin at 26, although he says the situation never bothered him. “It’s, like, not everyone’s doing that at the same time. But if you’re watching Euphoria on TV as a 16-year-old you’re going to think, ‘What the f**k? I’ve never had a threesome – what’s going on?’” Carr is an engaging presence – friendly, enthusiastic, happy to answer uncomfortable questions, albeit with an unnervingly intense stare at times. He seems a little dejected when I tell him I was more interested in the memoir sections of the book. But he rarely gives much of himself away, so it’s interesting to read such personal material. The book covers most of his life, from growing up in Slough and going to university at Cambridge to meeting his partner of 20 years, the TV producer Karoline Copping, and hosting shows such as 8 Out of 10 Cats. He may not think his showbiz stories are particularly interesting, but I loved hearing about his friendship with Stephen Hawking, whom he would take out for a curry and a musical. I'd never written a joke before I was 25. And now I'm good at writing jokes. It's a learnable skill Carr worked as a marketing executive for Shell, a job he hated, before a "quarter-life crisis" at 25 led to him study psychotherapy and begin doing stand-up. An intensely dedicated open spot, for two years he performed for more than 300 nights a year, two years running.

Surely he must have allowed himself a wry smile during Cameron’s recent lobbying scandal with Greensill? “No, I don’t wish him any ill at all,” he says, before adding some advice that could come straight from his own book. “I think it’s that thing of letting go. If you’re bitter and angry, it’s best to let go.” The book covers most of his life, from growing up in Slough, near London, and going to university at Cambridge to meeting his partner of 20 years, the TV producer Karoline Copping, and hosting shows such as 8 Out of 10 Cats. He may not think his showbiz stories are particularly interesting, but I loved hearing about his friendship with Stephen Hawking, whom he would take out for a curry and a musical. This article was amended on 1 October 2021. Some text was changed to be consistent with our editorial guidelines on references to disability. He seems to mean it, too. It may not have been for me, but if the book helps anyone else reach the same level of contentment as Carr seems to have, maybe he’s on to something.I think if you have a friend that’s tetraplegic you have to be quite chatty, because obviously the typing takes him so long,” he says, in a remark that feels like one of his jokes but isn’t. “We’d do shots together sometimes too. His care team said tequila would be too much, so he’d be on the Cointreau.”